He stole it.. THaT JeRK!!!!!!!

Hard to believe, i could be like this!! I am lost... completely!! Its his fault... tho i dont understand it... i cant help it... Its just the way it goes... O.o i believe i am "soul-less" but yet, its happening... How could it be possible? So much pain... so much sadness... it all makes me restless.. and gives out tonz of frustration. I even went under depression....

One way to look at it is.. "addiction" .. or is it pure lust?? He means so much to me.. and i dont know why... its all weird.. i just cant explain it.. I screwd up big time tho... "I cant tell you how much sorry i am... " What can i do to go back to the way it was? How to change it all and go back in time? Tho it would hurt me again... i just want to hear him...

I try to be like him... *_~ Follow his ways.. his talk.. his style... but i am just not getting something right... it just doesnt feel proper... Who is Sonu, i wonder at times. She is a total stranger even to me... Its true!! Am i what i appear to be ?? or is there someone different trapped inside.... ?? I hardly think.. its all such a blur ... it HURTS!!!!

Sigh.. ok i know this is confusing.. Urg!!! A few months back (early this year), i met this guy...!! He was really awesome.. cool!!! O.o (i m nt goin further in detail..) so much happened.... so much joy.. so much jealousy... so much pain... He used to be on my mind 24/7.. he still is... Anyway- as usual.. i screw it up in "my way".. and tention!! *BOOM* now we dont talk... Urg.... i am terribly sorry.. and i wish i could take it all bak.... I shouldnt have pushed.. i mean.. of course i do care very much.. but bugging him to quit smokin all the time..... ALL THE TIME... and lecturing him aka annoyin him wasnt the best thing after all....

Gawd.. i am not gonna talk to him even if i am really desperate.. i shall stick with my promise... Somebody knock some sense into his brains... and make him quit smoking.. drinkin and self destructing... I want him whole.... TT___TT

" I miss you very much...................................."

He can sing... he has a rock band... I like this song that he sang... Hear it.. ..... its lovely...... i cant get enough of it.. such a sweet voice.. urmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hearing to it... i am drowning in it.... full-ness... its perfect.... He is the best guy i have laid eyes on.... tho he is one messed up dude.. i believe outside.. he looks hardcore.. but on the inside.. he is soft as a marshmallow.. but he just tries to hide it... O.o that our theory... I havent got the chance to prove it... What lies ahead.. i wonder.... will.. we.................................???????

Ahhh see i told you he is a jerk.. he removed it from Imeem.. i'm sorry!!! I guess you cant hear it after all.. Zzzz!!!! Stupid jerk!!!!!! ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!